A Decision NOT Made Together

Well, there are some things even married couples are not meant to make decisions together (although I personally think everything should be of the two's consensus) but whatever it is I'm happy for my other half's decision to purchase an apartment in Shah Alam. Not that I'm against KN (that's what I call the love of my life if I haven't told you guys so) buying a property, and not that I am not aware of KN's intention to buy a property but this is the second time a purchase was made and I was not brought to the know.

The first was the car and now the apartment. I'm not expecting KN to get my permission but at least I would appreciate if I am somehow 'involved' in KN's decision to go ahead with the purchase. The saddest thing is I gotta know about this on the way home from work just now when the transaction was made yesterday afternoon. It took KN 24 hours to tell me. I know somehow that KN is worried about the uncertain future especially when I am not around. I know that KN is buying a shelter for a a reason only the two of us know. KN deserves this and I vow to give my love my full undivided support. Well, it's just a matter of heart. At least when I write it down here, I am letting things go.

Yes, I am bit kecik hati because whatever I want to get these past five years, no matter how much it costs, I will usually ask for KN's opinion. I treasure KN's points of view because I treasure our relationship very much. Well, it's KN's money, I shall not interfere but it brought the word 'marriage' to a new level - ground zero, meaningless I guess. Somehow sometimes I feel that we're two individuals having different views about marriage. KN asked me not to be angry and I'm not, why should I be angry? For being left out in the decision making process? I don't think so, like I said, it's not even my earnings that KN is spending on.

I'm writing this entry to express my feelings as I have no one to tell this to. If I were to tell KN how I truly feel, I'm sure this love of mine would soon jump into negative conclusions and merajuk worse than I am right now and I would have to pujuk KN like I was the one at fault. So be it. I am happy that KN's finally ready for more financial commitment and I hope the loan will be approved soon. KN's achievements in life is a winning point for me - I am proud to have been able to guide KN all these while and I hope KN will continue making the correct decisions. Especially when I am no longer around. Believe me, I love you.

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