Kal El

Alhamdulillah, it has been over a month since Kal El pakai prosthetic ni... and syukur pada Allah He has given me the chance to walk again dan proses Kal El sembuh dan belajar berjalan begitu singkat dan mudah.


My Bionic Leg (as I like to call it) costs me RM7.5k and it was worth the money spent - this prosthethic memang senang nak guna - even the people at the kedai (Lee @ Taman Midah Cheras) pun very helpful and friendly. Kal El dapat kaki ni pun cepat @ dalam masa 2 minggu selepas ukur.


Since about a week after dapat kaki ni Kal El mula kerja di tempat baru, I refused to use cruthes to walk so like it or not I had to learn to walk fast - memang betul, I only had to use crutches to the new office for a couple of days and wallah lepas tu I wa swalking using my two feet again.

It does feel funny walking with an artificial leg and of course Kal El sekarang ni limping lah but the most important thing is I can walk and enjoy life again.


Again, Syukur Alhamdulillah Allah permudahkan segala urusan Kal El selama ini. Amin.

Ahahah dream on! Nope, my kidneys did not miraculously heal! I opted for CAPD - Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis which no longer requires me to go to the dialysis center three times a week and sit for four hours each time.


Alhamdulillah I've got this option where I can peacefully work and feel great at the same time. I had a tube inserted into the peritoneal lining on February 3rd 2009 - yup before KN and I went to Kota Kinabalu and upon our return on the 16th of the same month, I started my CAPD training at HKL.


It has been over a month now and whatever people say about undergoing CAPD treatment isn't true. I was constantly reminded by fellow friends at the dialysis center before the operation that CAPD is risky - you risk of contracting peritonitis - but after learning the correct technique and following exactly the way I was taught to handle the tank off (the tube on my belly) and carrying out exchange the correct way, I find CAPD is safe.


Of course it will be troublesome after this for me to travel, yup I would have to carry over 60Kgs of dextrose solution for our trip to Makassar in April tapi sama saja kepayahan mencari tempat cuci darah if I were to undergo heamodylisis still. In contrast to Heamodylasis, CAPD is done every 4 - 6 hours daily and the exchanges has to be carried out in an extremely clean and dustless condition. This way there is no chance for patients to contract peritonitis.

Have you heard the English proverb ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE meaning someone is dying - my case, one of my foot is really in the grave! Alhamdulillah sebelah kaki ku telah selamat dikebumikan disisi tempat bersemadinya Allahyarhamah ibuku di Tanah Perkuburan Klang Gates Baru Kuala Lumpur pada hari Jumaat 2 Januari 2009.


The amputated leg was treated like any dead body would, with honour and respect only sermons were not read and thank god the slot beside my late mother's grave was available - it was a wish came true. No wonder when I was very sick in Nov due to the renal failure I had often being reminded of my mother's grave. I thought I was going to die and burried beside her, indeed it came true - but of me died and had to be returned to Allah the Almighty. Thank you dear God for lending me this limb.

Warning: This entry is very graphical in nature, not for the weak at heart - Kal El is showing these photos hoping that those who read this blog would learn a lesson on the consequences of diabetes. So do take care of your health.

I thank well wishers. As strong as I am deep inside it hurts but I was left with no choice either this or it'll get worse. Alhamdulillah God still has mercy on me, insyaAllah I'll be on my feet again soon - I'll brag about it when the bionic leg is ready in two weeks time, just on time for me to start work at the new place. InsyaAllah.

The amputated leg was sent to the forensic department or mortuary to be exact - ahahah forensic macam bunyi CSI sket kan? My brother Sapit claimed it on the morning of 2nd January 2009 - about days after amputation - look at the yellow packaging, it reminds me of daging lembu sold on Hari Raya Qurban... the next time you buy meat like this, do be reminded of my amputated leg hehehe.


The forensics department had wrapped my dear leg like a Christmas present and according to Sapit there were many layers of 'gift wrappers' wrapping my leg and it was frozen stiff. As a Muslim, the amputated part of the body needed to be cleaned and later on sent to the grave. Just to note the toes that were earlier removed were given the same treatment.


Another layer and another layer and another. I didn't see all these of course as I was at the hospital. Seeing the leg made me feel awkward, that leg looks familiar and it was once attached to me - it was like losing a part of you (literally) and what's funnier, my leg has its own Permit Menggali Kubur given with my name on it. So next time when I die it would be the second permit issued under my name - huh I could die twice!


This was how what's left of my foot looked like. Scary huh? *(Below) - Look at the blackened toe, each and every finger turned black except the large toe but they all had to go, sadly.

Warning: This entry is very graphical in nature, not for the weak at heart - Kal El is showing these photos hoping that those who read this blog would learn a lesson on the consequences of diabetes. So do take care of your health.

The sequence of events:

04 December 2008 - This blister has been there for a month. I've been doing home dressing twice a day.


13 December 2008 - the blister had turned bad and foul smelling. The last toe had turned gangrenous.


15 December 2008 - The last toe and the blister affected part were removed.


25 December 2008 - A couple of days after the fourt and third toe were removed. Half of my foot were gone too. The second toe started to blackened.


29 December 2008 - Moments before the Below Knee Amputation - the previous week's wound was not healing well. The foot has died, the bone turned black and there was no way to save it. I had to say goodbye to it.


01 January 2009 - The amputated leg on New Years Day - an unforgettable new year...


06 January 2009 - The wound started to heal. Alhamdulillah.


11 January 2009 - The open wound trimmed and stitched after the doctors were sure it was clean and healed.


17 January 2009 - At the clinic for daily dressing. Healing beautifully.


04 February 2009 - Stitches off. Healed but skin a little dry - now I've just have to wait for the stump to mature in order to use a prosthetic leg.


06 February 2009 - 1 month and 38 kg lesser later - at the prosthetic leg maker. I'll be walking again in about 3 weeks time. Yeay! Urghhh forking out 7.5k for the plastic leg but it's going to be worth it.

Yes, whenever I am away for very long something bad must have happened. This time it is a real challenging experience that changes my life forever; nothing beats this, not even having to go for dialysis 3 times a week. This is far worse but again, I am Superman - always challenged but never defeated.

I have been around after being 'jailed' @ Ampang Hospital for a month but couldn't find the slightest interest to blog. As usual I would have everything within reach even the Internet. I tell you being on MC for 3 months is really boring. Before that, woohoo, I got that new job I was telling you guys about many months ago - finally the offer came and I gladly tendered my resignation at the current company. A week after the offer came - this offer from God came and I had no choice but to accept it. So I am currently serving my 3 months notice on medical leave - thank goodness! See, there's always a silver lining behind bad things that happens. Whatever it is, Alhamdulillah for what Allah has given me, whether good or bad.

After the landslide at Bukit Antarabangsa in December I fell terribly ill, I couldn't walk for most of the week after Adiladha after a real bad fall in the toilet at my dad's place in Melawati. I laid on the recliner for a week and a blister on my rright foot turned gangrenous on the weekend after Aidiladha. The blister has been there for about a month and I've been doing home dressing twice a day for that period but ever since I came back from Umrah I have been caughing none stop and the week before the landslide the caught just got worse. I turned to Ubat Batuk Cap Ibu dan Anak which has honey ( a real NO NO for diabetics) and swallowed 2 big bottles of it. On the day the blister turned gangrenous and foul smelling my suger reading was at 33 mmol.

I decided to go to the Ampang emergecy on Monday morning 15 Dec 2008 and as I expected I had to be admitted and the gangrenous part had to eb removed - the little toe had to go as it was right above the blister. I was okay and accepted my fate. The surgery to remove the little toe and part of my right foot was done the next day.

A week after that, as the doctors had suspected and continuously warned me during their rounds every morning that my wound wasn't healing well (partly because of the renal failure I was suffering from that the healing process couldn't take place) the fourth toe had turned black and must be removed. I readily accepted my fate and signed the consent letter. During surgery the doctor told that the third had to be removed too and I agreed. Again, the doctors kept reminding me that they had no confident my foot will heal and advised for a BKA (below knee amputation) - I disagree and told them that as long as my toe and the second toe are okay, I wouldn;t let them do anymore surgery on me.

And true enough a week later the second toe had turned black - I had to finally succumb to my worst fears of losing a leg. my right leg was amputation below knee on 29th Dec 2008, a mere few days before the new year came. I had lost hope and was devastated but I kept telling myself at least God had given me time to think and if I were in a motor accident for instance, I may just lose a leg and would have no time to even sign a consent letter.

About a month had passed. I am hoepful that life would turn better for me especially with the new jpb coming - thank God they are ever willing to accept me even after the amputation and my current company, no matter how bad it is, the bosses have been very unnderstanding and helpful. I owe big time to KN for taking care of me while I was in the hospital. Also to my borther who took care of me on weekends at the hospital and the most important thing about all these is the realisation of the love of a dear father. Papa came everyday without fail and whenever I had to go into the OT he would be there for me.

I thank Allah for what had happened, even though it was painful but good things turned out from it. Do pray for me guys.

Undergoing dialysis is indeed a big step in our lives, not just mine tapi juga KN's yang affected. This new life memang needs time to adjust and get used to - macam-macam benda yang perlu berubah mostly time and money dan tak lupa juga soal makanan - Walaupun begitu makan pasti tetap makan hehehehe...
One of the things yang berubah is my physical - I am now 26Kgs lighter ( every time pergi dialysis akan berkurangan berat badan) and if my appetitte doesn't change soon - if it doesn't go back to what it was before I will be a jerangkung in no time. I put on nearly 20 Kgs after coming back from Umrah - sebab water retention and losing the weight now - so dah boleh pakai la baju dan seluar lama, siap longgar gila lagi.

Now, there's something I called a 'telinga extra' hanging on my neck - an incision made to insert a tube for dialysis dekat my neck before I get the vascular surgery on my arm done - itu pun will - take about 6 weeks to heal, so meantime ada la something ackward hanging kat my neck - conscious jugak tapi what to do.

As per diet right now, I am avoiding liquid as much as I can. Anything soupy included. Makan pun noi skipping now like i alwyas used to since I was told buat dialysis mesti kene makan. SO full mel every time from now on.

In terms of time, I will have to put aside 3 days a week ( a major adjustment to working time - in which belum ditentukan bagaimana lagi lepas ni - will only know when I go back to work next week.) and 4 hours will have to be spent for dialysis on these 3 days every week.

Financial wise - hmmm major adjustments as I will have to pay for the dialysis which is I think everybody knows very costly. That we'll have to see but whatever it is travel plans yang dah dibuat for next year will have to go on but with some adjustments to it.
Whatever it is I am hoping that life wouldn't be as bad and that things will turn out fine for both KN and I in the times to come.

I disappeared yet again but it wasn't yet time for me to go. I had been sick(er) these past couple of weeks and thought that I would've made it pass my birthday. I was ready to leave but God proved to me that He was not ready for me to go for good. I had a good scare and had told everyone my last wishes but I guess perjalanan masih panjang untuk Kal El.
This may not be a good note to start blogging again after a while but a new chapter has started in my life a chapter which I have by all means tried to avoid many times but finally had to succumb to - I gave up and gave my life to the machine. I am now a Superman on Dialysis.
After struggling against death for two weeks i realized a day after my 33rd birthday that God wanted me to go through IT so I hastily at 11pm made the decision to finally get KN to send me to the emergency department of Ampang Hospital for my fate to be decided and true enough I had to be put on dialysis for end stage renal failure first thing in the morning. A week has nearly passed and here I am a new person with new hopes and no plans for the future. May God help me. Please do.

The Star Online

It's already the third day of Aidilfitri and I am dying of boredom. Well, it's entirely my fault for not feeling well. I spent the night of 1st Syawal alone at home, listening to the takbir on TV and from nearby mosques. I told KN to spend Raya with my in laws and not to worry about me. I could've just followed KN home but I wasn't feeling that up to the occasion and I know KN understands me well. Furthermore my dad's house is just nearby so on the morning of Raya after the Aidilfitri prayers my brother fetched me from home (yep I missed Semayang Raya 3 years in a row) and took me to mummy's resting place. I felt happy because her grave was cleaned and the grass trimmed. Thank God I have a responsible little brother who is ever willing to take over my duties ever since I got too sick to do anything.

Like I mentioned before this would be the third Aidilfitri I have spent mostly alone, sickly and not being able to do much. One year getting worse from the other - started off with some infection, then the cerebellar stroke last year and this year this. However bad things may be I am happy that at least my faily understands me and they are respecting my wish to just rest at home. My brother would come over once a day to see that I am okay, KN calls me every now and then and tells me how much I am missed (ahahah tengok la nanti our phone bill with the video calls made) but I couldn't help feeling lonely. Who wouldn't when you're alone most of the time?

Sejak pulang dari Umrah and falling sick, Kal El macam dah tak ada nafsu untuk buat apa pun. Penat rasanya asyik terbaring tengok TV, movies and what not. On INternet pun tak tau nak tengok apa dah, with the crappy news the country has to offer sampaikan blog updates pun I do whenever I feel up to it, sekali banyak buat scheduled entries and posting entries yang dah lapuk but at least I am doing something to keep myself occupied and my brains moving.

I am not sure how long this will be; whether i'll get better or whether my health is going plunging down the drain- I don't know but I surely hope there would be an end to this somewhere, somehow. Whatever it is I am glad that God has shown me what I've been wanting to see and feel most of my life; love from my family. It's too bad mummy didn;t live long enough to witness our family being united but I know we started being together ever since she left us for good. Well, sometimes before good things could happen banyak benda-benda negatif yang perlu dilalui dulu kan? Perhaps I am one of those negative things; kalau aku tak sakit begini, I wouldn't know how much I am actually loved. Kalau mummy masih ada, mungkin papa takkan berubah menjadi lebih baik seperti sekarang. Mungkin Sapit pun akan kekal keras hatinya.

Ini semua pemberian dari Allah dan aku amat bersyukur kehadratnya. Alhamdulillah...

First of all please accept my apologies for suddenly disappearing for over 2 weeks. Like Kembara Musafir said in his earlier comment - penat celebrity Chef Zaidah senyum kat last entry tu, nasib baik senyumnya manis, maka manis la wajah blog ni hehehehe (mengampu tu sebenarnya Chef!)

We stopped for a while ar Borobudur Silver on our way to Kaliurang to witness the peak of Mount Merapi. Unfortunately (one unfortunate incident after another it seems) upon arrival, it rained real heavily so we turned back and headed for our final stop at Prambanan.

Borobudur Silver

Before Prambanan, we had lunch at a nearby Nasi Padang restaurant. Like Borobudur, the visit to Prambanan would require some walking before we could enjoy the view. Luckily this time the walk wasn’t uphill only that I needed to get help climbing up a few flight of stairs. At Prambanan, we witnessed the effects of the recent 2006 earthquake. Although restoration works was taking place, some forms of destruction were still clearly visible. Tourists were not allowed into the complex for safety reasons. Before the earthquake tourists were allowed to go into the temples. Thank God the tour guide we hired was really helpful and did a really good job explaining the details of the temples from their architecture to the story behind them. We then took a mini-train around the huge Prambanan Complex before the tour ended at 4:30pm. We had a stop at a nearby stall to enjoy a good supply of fresh young coconut before boarding the tour van. We however did not manage to go to the open air Ramayana show as it was closed in that particular month. Perhaps we'll come back some other time to watch this.

Prambanan Temple

We requested a drop-off at Malioboro Stret to look for a money changer but the recommended ones were closed so we had no choice but to use the service of a small money changer behind Malioboro Street. We then decided to get dinner from Malioboro Mall and a last stroll along Malioboro Street for a final round of last minute shopping before going to Solo tomorrow. We returned to Rumah Mertua after that feeling really tired but really satisfied (although I wasn’t really happy for not being able to climb Borobudur and in a way glad to have not taken the Sunrise tour – otherwise I would have to sit under that tree, alone, in the dark, waiting for the sunrise – all these because of this silly diabetes I’m having, thank you very much. By this time my face and feet was really swollen due to a bad case of water retention.)

Around Prambanan Complex

At the hotel after dinner, I couldn’t resist going through the photos KN took at Borobudur before falling into a really deep sleep. Luckily I didn’t have another episode of that weird and scary dream – perhaps I did but we were too exhausted to have realized it.

Jogja - Solo Day 5 Entry Tomorrow...